AGING WELL: Are we talking about aging? Missy Buchanan, May 21, 2009
Missy Buchanan
By Missy Buchanan Special Contributor
Recently I spent an afternoon cruising the blogosphere to see what Methodists are saying about the aging population.
First I typed in older adults. Not much there. I searched for elderly. Nothing except an occasional story that mentions an elderly person. I tried senior adults, aging, nursing home, assisted living, frail and homebound. I gave it one last shot with gray. Nothing to make me think that the aging population was on the radar of blogging Methodists.
Not long after, I heard from two conference chairpersons of Older Adult Councils in different parts of the country. Both mentioned how hard it was to get people to serve on the council. “It seems like no one is really interested,” said one.
I recalled a conversation I’d had with the minister of a small United Methodist church. He confessed: “I don’t really like visiting with older people because most of them just want to talk about superficial things.” Ouch.
That led me to explore some United Methodist-related seminaries to see how they are preparing students for ministry to and with older adults. Mostly I discovered reading lists about aging as part of a pastoral-care curriculum, but not much else.
All of that seems to beg the question: With an aging population and a church that is graying even faster, why aren’t senior adults a hot topic of discussion?
There’s a lot of important conversation about declining membership and the need to reach young adults and young families. I get it. Really, I do. Our denomination’s future depends on it.
Still, I worry that church leaders are discussing older adults only in reference to dwindling church numbers. In fact, I’ve heard conversations that were like a finger pointed in the wrinkled faces of seniors, as if older adults should be blamed for growing old and dying.
Now I am no theologian, but I’m pretty sure that’s not what Jesus had in mind.
Thankfully, the denomination recognized in 2000 the need for a Center on Aging and Older Adult Ministries. Executive director Dr. Rick Gentzler is working hard to support the needs of a graying society.
But how many local churches are using those resources and developing effective older-adult ministries?
Sometimes even figuring out how to talk about older-adult ministry is confusing. When you refer to older adults, who is it are you talking about? Active seniors? Frail elderly? The banner of older adults stretches across both—and every gray head in between. The first group is boarding the bus for Branson while the other is slowly shuffling behind walkers.
My 29-year-old daughter attended a funeral recently for her husband’s grandmother in another state. Knowing only a handful of people, she migrated to a group of elderly men and struck up a conversation. “They reminded me so much of Grandaddy,” she said, speaking fondly of my father, with whom she’d had a special relationship.
That got me to thinking. Maybe that’s a way for ministers, laypersons and seminaries to think anew about older adults. As someone’s beloved parents or grandparents. As people with names, feelings and stories to be shared. As time-worn children of a loving God.
Perhaps then we will give them more than lip service or a gift basket. Perhaps then we will realize that ministry to older adults involves building and maintaining relationships. And that takes time and effort.
May is Older American Month. The United Methodist Church is encouraging congregations to honor senior members with an Older Adult Recognition Sunday. That’s a good start, but it’s not enough.
After the calendar turns to June, what then? Who will hold the hand of the lonely widow who has no family? Who will read faith stories to the one whose eyes have dimmed? Who will sit with the bedridden man and remind him that Jesus loves him?
Who will do this for the least of these? I pray it is us.
Ms. Buchanan, a member of FUMC Rockwall, Texas, is the author of Living with Purpose in a Worn Out Body (Upper Room Books).
Missy Buchanan
Still, I worry that church leaders are discussing older adults only in reference to dwindling church numbers. In fact, I’ve heard conversations that were like a finger pointed in the wrinkled faces of seniors, as if older adults should be blamed for growing old and dying. 
 12-09.gif)
