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Commentary
REFLECTIONS: When race doesn’t matter Bishop Woodie W. White, Nov 4, 2008
Bishop Woodie W. White
By Bishop Woodie W. White UMR Columnist
So much of America’s history has been defined by race. Its citizens fought a war where race was its primary reason. Race has been dominant in its political and social life.
For many, race is the core of their worldview. Some are consumed by it; for others, race defines their essence.
In so many contexts, race is the “elephant in the room” that will not be acknowledged. We have become a race conscious culture and society.
In the midst of such a race-oriented culture, there are times, unbelievably, when race simply does not matter! It is not the determinative element in relationships, decisions or structure.
A friend of mine died last week. More than 40 years ago we began an incredible journey together. He, a son of the South—white, and from South Carolina. I, a son of the North—black, and from New York. We did not set out to be counter-cultural; we simply wanted to be friends. In those years, we defied culture, sociology and custom. Indeed, we found a place where race did not matter!
Race was not ignored; there were too many reminders of the racial divide in American and Church life. However, race would not define our relationship!
We literally traveled all across the nation, by rail, auto and plane. In our time together we ventured deep into each other’s soul space. We shared our inner conflicts, questions and hopes. Often, I revealed more than I intended. Perhaps he did as well.
From time to time, we touched one another’s place of discomfort. We went where we had not planned, even where we had hoped to avoid. In a word, we became friends.
My friend had such a gentle spirit that often masked his toughness! He had a marvelous way with words. He used them like an artist uses a brush to create something new: a word or phrase that was not there until he uttered or wrote it. His notes and letters were like reading poetry.
At some point along this friendship journey, we realized we had arrived at a place where race did not matter! We closed our frequent correspondence, “I love you.” That is strange for men. But it is stranger still in a culture that had deliberately structured itself in the hope that no black-white relationship would transcend race, but be forever bound by it. Ours was a relationship that transcended it!
My friend’s long but courageous battle with cancer drew us even closer. Not by the frequency of being in each other’s presence, but by the frequency of the touching of souls. There were times when nothing was held back. There was the search to express uncensored what was in our hearts. It was difficult to hold back tears when reading a note that was written in a hand grown weak or that had been scribbled in pain, but guided by love.
I usually e-mailed my friend early Sunday morning while listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. I would let him know what hymn or composition was being sung. It was a time of being in church together, when race did not matter.
In the last few weeks it was becoming clear that my friend was slipping away. Our last conversation was brief. His voice was faint, but his gentle spirit was still evident. Our final words to each other were those common to our relationship, “I love you.”
One of the last acts of which he was most proud, was being able to vote early in the presidential election. Even in the end, he remained a faithful Christian and a loyal citizen.
Death often leaves an emptiness and sadness. I am sad, to be sure, but not empty. There is in my spirit an overflowing of my friend Eben’s spirit of gentleness, hope, courage and love. My life has been enriched and blessed by our journey.
I rejoice that we Christians have the promise of eternal life, and the assurance that a Place has been prepared for us... a Place where race does not matter!
Retired Bishop White is bishop-in-residence at United Methodist-related Candler School of Theology in Atlanta, Ga.
Bishop Woodie W. White
