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Commentary
AGING WELL: Stir up some fun for elderly friends Missy Buchanan, Oct 8, 2008
Missy Buchanan
By Missy Buchanan Special Contributor
My mother was a racecar driver. At 91, she caught everyone by surprise last year when she rolled to the dining room at her senior care center wearing a NASCAR jacket and driving gloves. Good naturedly, she had let me transform her power chair into a racecar, with foam board, lightning-bolt decals and checkered flags.
I went alongside as her pit crew, carrying a lug wrench and wearing a grin. With a racing cap pulled low over her silver hair, my mother took the walkway curve in low gear. We rounded the corner to the dining room where others had also come in costume to this fall festival lunch.
We giggled with one of her neighbors, a 93-year-old woman. She was wearing her grandson’s graduation gown and mortarboard with a tassel swinging across her face.
We passed by a pair of circus clowns: an elderly mother and her middle-aged son decked out in identical curly red wigs and oversized clothes. One resident came in her bathrobe and curlers. Another had decorated her walker with more beads than a Mardi Gras float.
With festive balloons and pleasant laughter sifting through the background music, the scene reminded me of a favorite parable: The one that uses a party as a metaphor for the kingdom of God.
Certainly older adults need the pure joy of parties to remind them of what’s to come.
As we made our way to the table, I saw evidence of my mother’s arthritic pain soften into a huge smile. She was having fun. Sometimes older adults just need some help to rediscover their own playful hearts.
Around my mother’s table in the community dining room, we often celebrate in silly ways. Wiggly headbands, festive napkins and beverage decorations help change ordinary days into special events. We use any excuse to wear holiday garb, including funny earrings, festive ties and light-up pins.
A few years ago, I gave all the residents a set of small bells so they could jingle along with a holiday concert. By the time dessert was served, everyone was making merry with their bells. Soon others were clanging spoons together, too.
When it comes to having fun, we must not forget about older adults who live alone. Without the daily support of community and family, it’s easy for them to become depressed.
Autumn is a wonderful time to surprise a homebound person with a new seasonal doormat or wreath. Or take a pumpkin or scarecrow for the front porch. Send a musical card or tie-up a gingerbread man in a cellophane bag. You may just help someone get through a very dark day.
Not long ago, a fellow resident began giving my mother a high-five each day as he walked by our table. He seemed to know that she needed a dose of lighthearted encouragement.
Even through his broad grin, he would choke back tears as the two of them slapped hands like kids at a football game. Later he confessed that it made him feel good to know that, even within his own limitations, he had done something to lift the spirits of another.
Isn’t that the paradox? When we stir up some fun for others, our own hearts will soar with authentic joy.
So come to the party. Look for our table. We’re not hard to spot. We’re the group wearing the wiggly headbands.
Ms. Buchanan, a member of FUMC Rockwall, Texas, is the author of Living with Purpose in a Worn Out Body (Upper Room Books). Web site: www.missybuchanan.com.
Missy Buchanan
