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Commentary
AGING WELL: Change in routine is unsettling for elderly Missy Buchanan, Jun 25, 2008
Missy Buchanan
By Missy Buchanan Special Contributor
Not long ago there was mutiny at my mother’s senior residence center. Well, almost. Someone in the office decided to move bingo from Tuesday to Monday afternoon. Bad idea.
I was sort of amused by the fierce firestorm that blew up following the announcement. You could see the disapproval on the residents’ faces. Don’t mess with bingo!
The episode reinforced something I already knew about many older adults. Change is hard.
If we are honest though, most of us would have to admit we’re not quick to embrace change either, unless someone else has to do the changing. No matter our age, there’s a certain comfort in the routines of life.
Consider then the significant changes older adults have already endured in their latter years. Many have suffered the loss of a spouse. They have given up homes where they had created decades of memories. They have sorted through a lifetime of stuff, trying to decide what to give away and what to keep. Some have relocated to an unfamiliar city to be closer to family.
Even those who have stayed in their own homes have had to deal with declining health and mobility. Faced with so many changes and such little control, it’s not surprising that older adults cling to the few things they can count on. Like bingo on Tuesday afternoon and pancakes on Wednesday morning.
In most instances, it’s not really a matter of selfish stubbornness. It’s about a sense of security.
I have noticed this with my own 91-year-old mother. Understandably, she carefully guards what little independence she has left. She finds comfort in knowing that her water glass is on the cork coaster and her bobby pins are in the jar next to the toothpaste. She knows she can count on the current weekly magazine being in the bottom drawer and two tissues tucked into her right pocket. It is a simple but significant ordering system.
Like my mother, most older adults are anxious about their shrinking independence. While the world around them races at breakneck speed, they are concerned about breaking their necks, literally. They know that a fall, a stroke or a heart attack can turn their world upside down in a split second. As life circumstances change, they are forced to adjust as best they can.
Being members of the fix-it generation, many older adults are quite inventive in their methods to compensate for faltering bodies. When my father’s breathing was especially labored, he was unable to carry anything heavy. He would drive his scooter around the senior center with a watermelon propped between his feet and bags of fresh peaches hanging from the handlebars.
Every day I smile at the creative ways other residents tote mail and take-out containers from the dining room. One stroke victim contrived a great solution for carrying his mail back to his apartment: He hangs a canvas bag around his neck, freeing his good hand to use a cane to steady his balance.
I have also come to realize that sometimes older adults have been unfairly labeled as unwilling to change. I learned this lesson a few years ago when I was worship chair for my church. I incorporated some untraditional elements into a worship drama.
Liturgical dancers carried in 14-foot temple columns. There were pulsating lights and an earthquake recreated with throbbing bass sounds. I was braced for an onslaught of negative comments from the elder set.
I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the most positive response came from the over-75 crowd. For weeks following the drama, they sent notes of gratitude and encouragement.
So when it comes to change, we should all be gentle in our judgments. Sometimes change is necessary or inevitable. But we must never forget that routine is vitally important to an older person’s sense of security. And try not to mess with bingo.
Ms. Buchanan, a member of FUMC Rockwall, Texas, is the author of Living with Purpose in a Worn Out Body: Spiritual Encouragement for Older Adults (Upper Room Books).
Missy Buchanan
