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Commentary
Regarding children: Ending racism a child at a time Audrey Ward, Mar 4, 2008
Audrey Ward
By Audrey Ward Special Contributor
“This is no place to bring a child,” the pastor could hear her daughter’s words somewhere in the back of her mind. But she brought along her 4-year-old granddaughter Lauren to the church in the dodgy neighborhood anyhow.
Streets around this church are teeming with drug deals and the dealers tend to make trouble from time to time. Local newspaper headlines prove the danger every week.
The pastor’s intent was only to support her colleague who was determined to make a difference in the neighborhood. But the result of her and her granddaughter’s adventures may have became something more.
To begin with, the visitors were not only strangers in this part of town, but a different color, too. The only pale-skinned people in the neighborhood and in her colleague’s worship service.
Being out of place—is this safe? Then again, is it “safe” to live in ignorance of the real world?
Lauren loved the evenings she slept over at her grandmother’s house, especially when they attended this service on Friday nights. The music kept the child’s natural restlessness at bay, and when her grandmother went forward to help serve an informal communion, she simply sat with another family.
They even served hot dogs and beans afterward. Her grandmother’s church was never this much fun.
We can’t erase racism with words. Shared time—often, sitting at the same table—is where change begins.
What’s safe? Neighborhoods like the one surrounding this urban church are often closely watched by vigilant homeowners. Obvious strangers can’t walk down the street without being both politely greeted and carefully scrutinized.
First Church, not far away, told their new minister how much they loved to have Sunday afternoon sings. He knew exactly whom to invite to liven up their music: a Pentecostal church whose African-American pastor was part of his clergy group in town.
The music was moving, beautiful and full of spirit. His congregation, however, was anything but welcoming.
“Keep those kids away from the punch bowl, they might put their hands in it,” the well-powdered lady serving refreshments ordered him.
First Church’s minister said that he felt like a Secret Service man the rest of the afternoon, protecting the beautiful children in their Sunday ribbons and suits—and on their best behavior—from the ladies of First Church. He would run interference, making sure the little ones were well-supplied with punch and cookies.
We effectively make changes through welcoming relationships, not through rhetoric. Only by extending ourselves out of our own comfort zone—and taking our children along—can we discover brothers and sisters who seem different at first. Then we find they’re not so different after all.
As we share time and break bread together, we discover that we have common dreams for our children, the dream that they’ll be uncommon as they mature. We long for a world where friendships flourish with mutual respect and loyalty.
Lauren is 11 now. Her parents were worried about her middle school, which is huge. Kids from all over the county flood the area. Won’t they bring street dangers with them? Lauren’s parents investigated private schools, but their daughter preferred the big, public mixing bowl.
In her first semester, Lauren came home with a letter from the principal that read, “Congratulations on raising an aware child.”
She had been chosen to be a Safety Ambassador—one of 40 in a school of 1,700 children. These young people receive special training to help direct other children to needed services. The Ambassadors meet with counselors weekly to discuss safety issues they’ve observed—hot spots in the adolescent culture.
“Lauren is one of the most outstanding children on the list,” wrote the principal. “Many people recommended her for this task force.”
True safety begins in being aware of unusual settings, yet feeling perfectly at ease. Did the trips to the other side of town make a difference to the 4-year-old? No one can be sure.
But her grandmother has a hunch they’re a strong ingredient in Lauren’s awareness.
The Rev. Ward is a mother and grandmother, and interim pastor of Central UMC in Sacramento, Calif. e-mail:audrey.ward@att.net.
Audrey Ward
