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Commentary
AGING WELL: Have compassion for elderly Missy Buchanan, Feb 12, 2008
Missy Buchanan
By Missy Buchanan Special Contributor
I sometimes wonder if compassion isn’t one of those things better caught than taught. One thing I know for sure is that compassion is served daily in many senior centers.
I know what you are thinking. What about all the news headlines about eldercare abuse and neglect? Certainly those are disheartening realities and the topic of a future column.
But today it’s hats-off to those caring staff members of senior residences who live out authentic compassion every day.
Let’s not pretend. Working in a senior facility is no walk in the park. Usually it involves a lot of unglamorous, hard work with modest pay.
Yet each day while visiting at my mother’s senior residence, I witness an abundance of compassionate hearts in action.
In the dining room, I see compassion when a food-service worker discreetly arranges the dishes for a visually impaired resident who desperately clings to his independence. Without drawing attention to his disability, her response shows that she clearly understands his anxiety.
Across the room, another employee slips to her knees to help a resident with a severe hearing loss.
Moments later the entire kitchen staff breaks into spontaneous applause for a stroke victim making his first post-rehab entrance.
These employees fearlessly engage in daily conversations with residents whose speech is slurred or difficult to understand. They do not flinch at the sight of the double-amputee, nor stare at the resident who has dribbled spaghetti on her bib.
While holding heavy trays, they patiently wait for the parade of slow-moving walkers to pass by. And all the while, they do it with broad smiles and a touch of humor.
I see compassion when the hairstylist takes time from her busy schedule to walk a confused resident back to her apartment. I see it again when she works in an awkward position to style my mother’s hair from the dryer chair, saving my bone-tired mother the pain of having to move once again.
I see compassion every time the maintenance and housekeeping staff preserves the dignity of residents who find themselves in embarrassing situations. They quietly clean up messes and deal with circumstances that would make others blush.
During my time at the senior center, I have discovered several significant truths about compassion.
Employees often show more compassion than members of the residents’ own families. It grieves me when I see adult children treat their elderly parents like misbehaving toddlers, rushing or scolding them. I am equally disturbed by a family whose absence speaks its own sad commentary.
I have also noted how authentic compassion leaps across racial and age barriers. The staff at my mother’s center is a multi-age, multi-ethnic mix. It is their compassion that endears them to residents and molds the diverse group of residents and employees into family.
How is it then that some people exude compassion while others have only a smidgen? How can some folks be moved to tears by a TV movie yet fail to recognize their older loved one’s struggles?
Many people talk about compassion as if it’s a genetic roll-of-the-dice. Some of us get it at birth; some don’t.
But that attitude is contradictory to Scripture.
Jesus made it clear. Each of us is called to be compassionate. No one is excluded.
Knowing our human condition, Jesus used a masterful, two-step teaching technique: He compellingly taught about compassion in parables like the Good Samaritan, and he also modeled it perfectly every day.
Compassion is one of those things best taught and caught.
To truly be more like Jesus, we must be vigilant in our efforts to cultivate compassion. We can begin by opening our eyes to the sufferings and challenges of others, including older adults.
We should be intentional in teaching our children and grandchildren how Jesus showed compassion to the lost and the least. Then let’s put the lessons into practice in our own lives.
Compassion is at work in many senior centers. And people are watching and learning.
Missy Buchanan, a member of FUMC Rockwall, Texas, is the author of the upcoming Living With Purpose in a Worn Out Body: Spiritual Encouragement for Older Adults (Upper Room Books). Web site: www.missybuchanan.com.
Missy Buchanan
I see compassion when the hairstylist takes time from her busy schedule to walk a confused resident back to her apartment. I see it again when she works in an awkward position to style my mother’s hair from the dryer chair, saving my bone-tired mother the pain of having to move once again. 
