Young people who mainly use technology for communication may be neglecting a means of grace, says Andrew C. Thompson.
By Andrew C. Thompson Special Contributor
Here’s a new phenomenon: “Facebook Stalking.”
It refers to the way some people (typically men) use the über-popular social networking Web site Facebook to troll around looking for other people (typically women) that they find attractive. Once an object of desire is located, the Stalker sends a “friend request” in the hope that it will be answered positively.
Sounds pretty pathetic, of course. But it’s more than that. It’s symptomatic of a growing trend in our increasingly technological world.
The real world is messy. It requires face-to-face communication. Emotional undercurrents play a part in every human interaction. And such interactions are time-consuming and difficult. They require a real investment.
So the answer for many people is to bypass the messiness by delving into the digital world. Online things don’t seem nearly as messy. And the online world is blissfully individual, full of fantasies and completely controllable.
Turning to technology may not be completely anti-social, but it does tend in that direction. Every time a person sends a text message, e-mail or even a “Superpoke” it is one more time the person doesn’t have to go through the complexities of real human conversation.
The Facebook Stalker, not creep so much as confused, is just the logical next step in using technology to avoid the anxiety that real social interaction involves.
Lest this description seem a bit too Chicken Little-ish, let me suggest a reason why Facebook Stalking and all its lesser expressions are threatening for society: loss of real community.
When we allow our most significant human interactions to be replaced by online or digital exchanges, we lose a sense of what it means to be part of a real community.
Put another way: On Facebook, I have 57 “friends.” In real life, it is impossible to have 57 friends if we understand friendship as deeper than merely knowing someone well enough to say “hi” in the supermarket.
As Wesleyans, we Methodists fortunately have resources from our own tradition that can help us overcome the alienation that technology brings.
In particular, John Wesley always put an emphasis on the idea of the “means of grace,” those practices that are “ordained of God as the ordinary channels of conveying his grace to the souls of men.”
Wesley saw the chief means of grace as prayer, searching the Scriptures and receiving the Lord’s Supper. These are aspects of our faith-in-action that are present in Jesus’ ministry and prominent throughout the New Testament.
But added to these instituted means of grace are prudential means of grace, which can include any private or public action that offers a way to receive God’s grace. Think of having fellowship in a small group, building a Habitat house or having a potluck at church.
Of course, there are means of grace that are individual in nature. But what stands out most about the means of grace is the intensely social character of most of them. They are done together with fellow Christians.
And just as Jesus traveled around the Galilee in a company of disciples, he comes to us most often in the context of Christian community. The Lord’s Supper, for instance, cannot be done online. It is a real, face-to-face meal where we meet Jesus at his table and together with his friends.
This is the antidote to the individualism and isolation of our age. For every device, gadget and tool that separates us, we should stress the character of Christian community. We simply cannot text-message our faith to God. We have to witness to it together, joining hand-in-hand with our brothers and sisters in the church.
Jesus doesn’t want us only to be Facebook friends. He wants us to be real friends, face-to-face, with one another.
The Rev. Thompson maintains a blog at www.genxrising.com. e-mail:andrew@mandatum.org.
© 2007 DESIGN PICS
When we allow our most significant human interactions to be replaced by online or digital exchanges, we lose a sense of what it means to be part of a real community. 
Jesus doesn’t want us only to be Facebook friends. He wants us to be real friends, face-to-face, with one another. 
